The Best Medicine

'Now you could study Shakespeare and be quite elite
And you can charm the critics and have nothin' to eat
Just slip on a banana peel 
The world's at your feet 
Make 'em laugh 
Make 'em laugh 
Make 'em laugh'

                      - Cosmo Brown, Singing in the Rain

I might not agree completely with the philosophy of Cosmo Brown, but you can't help getting impressed by the fact that he's spouting this while performing gravity-defying runs up walls (all the more impressive, considering this was decades before The Matrix, Inception and Rajanikanth had ensured that such antics were greeted with yawns). That being said, as someone who actually enjoyed her Shakespeare course and who does (occasionally) enjoy critically acclaimed movies, I am a total sucker for good LOL moments, regardless of how cliched or mindless they might be. 

Here's the list (in no particular order) of my favorites, moments that no matter how many times I see them, always make me laugh.

1. The Emperor's New Groove 

Now while this one has many hilarious scenes ('Bewaaaaare the groove,' says the old man after being tossed out of a window by guards as a punishment for wrecking Emperor Cuzco's groove), the ones that stick out the most for me are the ones with the character Kronk, the right-hand not so bright muscle of the villain, Yzma, with a penchant for cooking spinach puffs, playing skipping rope games and an uncanny knack for different languages (including Squirrel - Squeak squeakity squeakins!). He's got many good moments, but definitely at the top of the list: his shoulder angel and devil.

The context: Kronk is having a moment of crisis and trying to determine whether he should save Kuzco when his friendly neighbourhood shoulder angel and devil appear.

Shoulder Devil (SD): Listen up, big guy. I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one. Look at that guy! He's got that sissy stringy music thing.

Shoulder Angel (SA): We've been through this. It's a harp, and you know it.

SD: Oh, right. That's a harp. And that's a dress.

SA (gesturing down at the 'robe'): Robe!

SD: Reason number two. Look what I can do. Ha-ha, ha! (He does a one-armed handstand.)

Kronk: But what does that have to do with anything.

SA (grudgingly): No, no. He's got a point

The SA and SD make another appearance later, when Kronk is confronting Yzma.

Yzma: Kronk! Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing! It's like I'm talking to a monkey.

SA: Whoa now!

Yzma: A really, really big stupid monkey named Kronk!

SD: Ouch.

Yzma: And do you want to know something else? I've never liked your spinach puffs! (Kronk, SA and SD gasp together) Never! (Kronk starts to cry)

SD: That's it. 

SA: She's going down.

  

Definite honorable mention: While setting up the dinner to poison Emperor Cuzco, Kronk's response to Yzma's subtle allusion to the poison is 'Riiiight. The poison for Cuzco, the poison chosen specially to kill Cuzco, Cuzco's poison ... that poison?'

2. The Sound of Music

Granted, this movie stopped holding any charm for me (aside from nostalgia) a while ago. The somewhat contrived saccharine-sweet cuteness of the children was all good when I was ten, but now could be ranked on par with bad Disney movies (High School Musical, all 3 parts, that means you!). It does, however, have a gem of a moment between Captain Von Trapp and Maria. The context: Maria, after displaying intelligence worthy of a tourist on Kodai lake, has managed to overturn the boat bearing her and the seven Von Trapp children by standing up and yelling 'Oh Captain! You're home!' What follows is a furious argument between the two, wherein Maria hurls a few home truths at the Captain about his treatment of his children. At a particularly tense moment, the Captain tries to cut her off and she responds with a loud 'I'm not finished, Captain,' to which he quells her with an emphatic 'Oh yes you are, Captain.' Followed by a sheepish expression. And on Christopher Plummer's face ... priceless!

3. Blackbeard's Ghost

This is another one of my childhood favorites, one of many tapes brought back by my parents from Kuwait. But unlike The Sound of Music, this one never gets old. The story revolves around a young coach who moves to a small seaside town. Once he arrives, he is befriended by the old lady who owns the inn he is housed in, and claims to be a descendant of the infamous pirate, Blackbeard. He then accidentally rouses the ghost of Blackbeard, who has been trapped in limbo by a curse from his wife. The two proceed to become an unlikely duo, albeit a squabbling at-each-other's-throats one. Not an amazing plot, but the main reason this works can be summed up in two words: Peter Ustinov, who plays the drunken, brutish yet strangely likeable pirate. Most memorable here is the furious fight between the coach and Blackbeard, punctuated by frequent booming yells of 'MYYY BED!' by Blackbeard. They ultimately decide to share the bed, but the somewhat small-framed coach is finally driven out by Blackbeard occupying more than three-fourths of the bed and his loud snores and sleep talking.

4. Stardust

It was watching this movie that actually inspired this post. After watching it for perhaps the thirtieth time, I realized that I still laughed at all the same points as I had when I first watched it. These were mainly the scenes with the seven sons of the king, all of whom are either alive and fighting for the throne or dead and stuck in limbo. The ghosts of the brothers and their sarcastic asides and constant bickering add a lot to the movie. One of my favorite scenes with them, however, is at the start of the film. The scene opens with the ailing king, surrounded by his three sons, Primus, Tertius and Septimus. Then the door bursts open and, accompanied by a loud triumphant overture, Prince Secundus enters. 

The King: Secundus, look out the window and tell me what you see. (Secundus strides over to the window, standing with his back straight and chest puffed out.)

Secundus: I see the kingdom, Father.

The King: And?

Secundus (hopefully): My kingdom?

The King (chuckles): Maybe. Look up. (Secundus looks up and the King looks meaningfully at Septimus who smiles, strides over and promptly pushes his brother out of the window. A few seconds later, Secundus appears alongside his dead brothers, to be met with hostile looks.

Secundus (trying to laugh off his brothers' frosty stares): Oh, please, you're not still annoyed at that whole murder thing, are you? I mean, that was ten years ago.

Quartus (who has an axe embedded in his head): Great deal of good it did you, killing me, Secundus. Because now, of course, you're King of all Stormhold. Oh sorry, wait, no you're not - you're dead!

Another scene I just had to include: 

Bishop (toasting the princes): To the new King of Stormhold. Whichever of you fine fellows it might be. (They acknowledge him and sip. The Bishop chokes and collapses, dead.) 

Tertius: Hmmm. (He chortles nervously as he and his brother eye each other suspiciously. His eyes suddenly open wide, he chokes and falls forward, dead.)

 Septimus (to Primus): You! (He clutches his throat and chokes, falling backwards onto the floor. Primus smiles, incredulous, picks up the crown as if to put it on his head. Just as he is about to do so, Septimus bursts out laughing and rises to his feet.)

 Septimus: You really thought you were king!

 Primus (accusingly): You killed the Bishop!

 Septimus: No, Primus, I think you'll find that you killed the Bishop by drinking out of the wrong cup.

This one cracks me up every time!

5. George of the Jungle

This is another movie that doesn't get old. There's the ape named Ape, who acts as a tutor of sorts to George, explaining complex problems such as the evolution theory and mating rituals (for animals). The movie also spoofs the whole white-man-worship idea, particularly brilliantly when the villain, Lyle, tries to impress his African guides with his camera, who pretend to be awed by it, only to whip out a more advanced one.

Then you also have the omniscient narrator, who interacts with and (on one particular occasion) punishes the characters. And with that, we come to my all-time favorite moment of the movie, as the group approaches Ape Mountain.

Narrator: When they approached it, they gazed in awe.

Group: Awwwww

Narrator: I said 'awe' - A.. W.. E!

Group: Ooooooh!

Narrator: That's better.